I feel the hopskip
from point 2 to point 4
a stroke out when walking home
how my foot hits the ground
but I can’t recall the step before.
I feel the short-circuit
the wattage of your smile flickers
just for a second
and I feel the pinch in my chest
the staple in my gut
the flicker of my world one black spot.
Inside that flicker, I am steam
stretching the entire length of this room
and charged with more heat than I can contain.
I run circles in the pressure, working my muscles
draining the hydration of my skin
stealing back my metallic hands
and wondering when the lightning will strike
Your arms can reach around me
fingers interlocked across the dip in my spine.
Your eyes can pull me to you
from across a long line of ether.
But we’ve spoken at length
about the holes in our psyches,
you’ve finally unzipped the goddess suit
and shown me the sweaty skin below.
I’ve maintained my heart, fastened tight to my sleeve
but I’ve loosened my tongue, unscrewed my filter
my game codex changer
I’ve been unlocked and led limp to the ways of the high road
difficulty be damned
But you’re not behind me.
I look on either side, and I am not alone
I am walking with sunshine and skylines and clouds
I am walking with voices and jogging for miles
But you’re not beside me.
I look in front and I know you’re not there
I would know the back of you anywhere
I don’t want to look above
if I know already that you aren’t above me
you must be gone from this world
Gone from the path
Or maybe you were never there in the first place.
Again in this corner, this room
reminds me of before.
In this artificial light, the walls look yellow
the window to my right could hold the same scenery
I saw before.
The music in my ears was here
the differences an illusion
if I keep my head facing the screen
if I forget you aren’t in the other room
if I remember when my world was