Before reading further, please take a look at this article – it fully lays out the principle on which I am basing this post.
Go ahead, I’ll wait.
If you have chosen to not read that article (I would be that person, so no worries) the “Fuck Yes!/No!” principle, in a nutshell, touts that one can live a severely less complicated life if they base many of their choices on the level of passion they have for said choice, and the level of passion they receive back from others involved in that choice.
Want to go skydiving with x?
Does x want to go skydiving with you?
You should go.
Want to get drinks with y?
Don’t do it.
Does y want to get drinks with you?
Don’t pursue them.
There are many factions in life to which this principle is meant to apply, but the author chose to focus on how this applies to friendships and relationships. The idea is that you should not suffer in a relationship where both you and your partner are not saying “Fuck Yes!” when it comes to being/hanging out/etc with each other. If you are already in a relationship where this is the case, it is best to cut ties. If you are unable to ever feel “Fuck Yes!” about anyone, then it is suggested that you allow yourself to let other people in more, to see the real you. If you are going through life with no one who says “Fuck Yes!” to you, then you need to examine what it is about you that should have people saying “Fuck Yes!”. And if you can’t find anything, you need to re-examine why you can’t find anything, and how you can go about making yourself proud of your “Fuck Yes!” qualities.
So, the brilliance in this lies in the fact that you can stop feeling the need to play games with people, or letting them play games with you. You can let that person who’s just not that into you go, or encourage someone to let you go. It is meant to do away with lukewarm, so-so living.
I think it is admirable, if not terribly difficult to become accustomed to. Does that mean I have lived parts of my life not saying “Fuck Yes!” to anything? Of course. But I don’t have to anymore, and I don’t have to let more happen to me as I grow older.
Now is where I name-drop and direct you to the blog of my very good friend, who has taken this principle and deconstructed how you can take lukewarm and see if there is any “Fuck Yes!” to be found. Once you’re there, I encourage you to stick around – he’s got quite a lot to say, and I think it’s worth reading.
Finally, if you haven’t yet, I suggest checking out the article that begat this post. It includes a link to a blog post that includes the “Hell Yes!” principle, designed for everyday life (in case you want tips on how to make more than your love life less complicated).