“If you were here beside me, instead of in New York. . .”

I’ve begun and ended so many different catalogs of adventures, and so seldomn do I ever ache to speak to the world. I am happily confined to the written page and never needed anything other than the vague text post on tumblr, or a bubbling brook gif when I’m happy and a sad rainfall gif when I’m sad. It’s all I’ve ever needed to share with the world, and yet I feel like it’s time to stretch my legs and express in the here and now. I’m clearing my throat, I’m itching with wanderlust to begin anew, and I am definitely full to the brim with experience with which to unleash upon the world. A new world, as one would say.

I have lived 29 years and 52 weeks in the same city. Sure, I’ve traveled, both domestically and abroad, several times, but the fact of the matter is I am a one state resider, and always have been. I’ve had options to live in both Florida and New Mexico, to varying degrees of safety and sanity, and I’ve chosen to stay here, in the Midwest. It was easy for a little while. I fell in love, and moved out on my own, cleverly believing I had made it. I even exacerbated this feeling of complacency by graduating college and securing a job in the exact major I had sought. Life was good.

Until it wasn’t.

They don’t tell you what to do when “happily ever after” happens and then disappears within 1.5 years. Where are all the stories about that? What happens to someone who has every single thing they’ve ever wanted, and then it’s just gone one day?

So it’s taken me five years since that day to figure out that I needed to leave the safety and security of ever after, and try to make myself happy again. I am happy to say I have pulled things back together somewhat, and tied to me those I cannot do without, and suffer the pain of those who have cut themselves willingly from my ties.

What remains now is how I will deal with my newfound adventure. I am going to California with my better half, and together we will make ourselves look like the successes we want to see in the mirror.


Talk at me while I eat

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